Monday, December 5, 2011

The Six Stations of Divorce

When going through a divorce, there are six stations that near everyone will go through. Theses stations are:

1.       The emotional divorce
2.       The legal divorce
3.       The economic divorce
4.       The co-parental divorce
5.       The community divorce 
6.       The psychic divorce

The emotional divorce has to do with the loss of trust, respect and affection that had been felt towards one another. During this stage, instead of supporting each other and trying to separate with as little damage as possible, the spouses react to hurt one another, to frustrate and diminish their self-esteem.

The legal divorce is where the courts are brought into place and an official end is brought to the marriage. It is during this stage when the partners are free to feel the relief from the legal responsibilities that befell them while yet in marriage. 

The economic divorce is the division of property and assets. It is in this station where most of the arguing and frustration occurs. The economic divorce is difficult for three reasons; 1. no one feels they are getting their full share, 2. arguing over who should get what (the house, the car, etc.), and 3. a sense of loss when each realizes they will now live without the other half of their "home". 

The co-parental divorce (experience only by those with children) can be brutally painful. This is do to the battle over custody, visitation rights, and continuing parental responsibility. Parents often feel responsible for and want the responsibility of the children and in the course to gain that responsibility, they damage the children; using them as weapons to hurt the other parent.

The community divorce is where each of the partners leaves one community of friends and relations and enters another. This is to avoid uncomfortable situations where members of the social group may fee more sympathetic toward the other member of the divorce and may feel resentment towards the member at hand.

The psychic divorce is the final and most crucial separation in the divorce, it is where the individual most accept the disruption of the disruption of the relationship and regain a sense of being an individual rather than part of an intimate couple. this step is crucial in each persons mental, emotional and physical well-being.

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