When two people are getting ready to get married and they hear the word intimacy, they generally think of one thing, sex. But this is not all that intimacy is; intimacy is emotional, feeling: understood, loved, and able to rely upon your spouse throughout all times and trials.
Men and women come to experience intimacy differently:
Girls – emotional -> safe -> sex
Girls feel with their emotions and only after they feel safe and secure in their spouse will they be willing to consent to having sex.
Boys – sex -> emotional
Boys feel with their sense of touch and prefer to have sex as a way of obtaining an emotional connection his wife.
There are generally four stages in intimacy:
These stages have different time lengths for guys and girls.
A guy will have a fairly short excitement zone, a very short plateau before a high orgasm and will have a very long retraction period to recover from his burst of testosterone.
A girl on the other hand, will have a stead excitement zone (about twice as long as a guy’s but ranges from girl to girl), a fairly long plateau (may have many ups and downs) and can have multiple orgasms before a much smaller retraction period.
It is because of this difference in set up that many couples feel as though all they do is give and their spouse is never satisfied, or that they are giving, but are never satisfied themselves. One thing that happens most often is that a couple will start to fight and will stop having sex. This is most damaging. It is extremely important that no matter what, the couple need to keep their intimacy strong, that their hearts might remain as one.
1 Corinthians 7:1-7